You create the life you want to live

It takes guts to create the life you want versus tolerating the life you have. In spite of all the development, the education, the advances we make, we all exist in some level of toleration. We don’t truly realize just how dangerous this is. Like a prolonged falling apart of a house’s foundation, we never know the danger we live upon until the ground gives way and our home crumbles to the ground, often with us inside of it.

We are creatures of habit and it’s unfortunate that pain is the motivator that moves us from the warm comfort of what’s familiar to actually change and reach for more. We are wonky beings. You have to laugh at the consistent inconsistency we bring to life, as well as the ruts we fall into, enduring boring redundancy. The ebb and flow of moving closer to pleasure and away from pain is the moderator of our motivations, our compulsions and the activities that often keep us stuck. The desire for pleasure is a call to action…to embrace a goal or seize an opportunity by simply grasping what is right in front of us. Tragically, sometimes we fall. So how do we really create a life that is worthy of us?

Here are six honest steps to create the life you want:

6. Get raw.

Get real and step in. That’s right, you gotta first get honest with yourself about the reality of your situation without beating yourself up. Denial is a sneaky comforter to isolate us from facing reality and rarely can anyone self-assess. This is where coaches, therapists and positive people can gracefully guide you into a space of true understanding. This is the first step to massive change.

5. Start over.

Trust me, leaving an old life—hang-ups and relationships—behind only seems hard. Yet, nothing can be more empowering because you’re now—maybe for the first time—embracing your own resolve. Read inspiring books that help you to step into the power you hold within yourself. Don’t be embarrassed to shop in the self-help section at the book store. It’s the best. 

4. Get clarity.

Disciplines such as meditation, prayer, yoga, exercise and quality nutrition are the first steps to clearing a mind that has been bogged down by a lifetime of confusion, domestication and things we just kinda went along with and now realize no longer work for us. Then comes the bravery needed to claim what it is we want and actually form beliefs that we deserve to be happy. I personally struggled for years with not believing I deserved anything good due to growing up and forming an identity around survival. I was actually proud that I survived the process of life in a more dignified manner than others and, as a result, many opportunities for abundance passed me by. It was a loss. 

3. Form a plan.

There are no shortcuts. You can’t go around, over or under the obstacles that are in your path…you must go through them. You have to be ready to form some calluses on your hands, because nobody can truly get you out except for yourself. 

2. Eliminate all else.

There is an old expression that goes you can’t soar with eagles if you walk with turkeys. It’s true. We are the sum total of the five people we spend the most time with. That doesn’t mean you have to disown all your friends and family, but you can learn how to create healthy boundaries with those that don’t share your passion for life and desire to grow, change and create.

Eliminate everything that does not support your commitment, clarity and the plan you just formed. And the number one way…

1. Control your thoughts and words.

Create a rigorous discipline around the only thing any of us have real control over…our thoughts and our words. Everything in the universe has an energetic frequency, a vibration that migrates to its equal. “What we think, we become.” Want more bad stuff in life? Complain endlessly about all the stuff around you and you’ll have more of it. Conversely, want more love and money and passion and beauty and amazing experiences? Place your thoughts and words around such things and slowly, in time, you’ll not only attract those things, you’ll realize it was all around you this whole time and couldn’t see it. This process will become a comical game, as if you have a new set of eyes and you’re seeing everything for the first time when, in reality, you’re just descending from the dark clouds and seeing sunshine for the first time in the way of little victories.

Creating the life you want is not easy—but it’s not complicated, either. Take note of the roadmaps, success clues and others who are intelligently pursuing their own creations and eagerly welcome you into their tribe. So this is an invitation.

Cry your tears. Cast your smiles. Embrace the love. Join along with the ones making change, the ones that get real and authentic with the ups and downs of life and are choosing every day to create an epic life. I am supporting you.

Danielle Spillman is a certified yoga teacher, health enthusiast, and writer who lives and works in Libby. You can find more of her musings at www.findyourlightyoga.com.