We need to stop intimate partner violence now

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, a designation that serves to raise awareness and dialog about domestic violence. Intimate partner violence is one type of domestic violence.  It is best understood as a pattern of abusive behaviors, including physical, sexual and psychological attacks, as well as economic coercion used by one intimate partner against another to gain, maintain or regain power and control in the relationship.

The term “intimate partner” includes current and former spouses and dating partners. Batterers use of a range of tactics to frighten, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, often injure and sometimes kill a current or former intimate partner. Intimate partners can be of the same or opposite sex.  

Half of the batterers also abuse their children, and the children who are not directly abused exhibit the same psychological impact as those who are. Children who grow up in homes with domestic violence often witness violence on a daily basis, live in fear and blame themselves.

Everyone has the right to a safe and healthy relationship and to be free from abuse.

Here are some concerning statistics to consider:

• On average, 24 people per minute are victims of rape, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner in the U.S. - more than 12 million women and men over the course of a year.

• Nearly three in 10 women and one in 10 men in the U.S. have experienced rape, physical violence or stalking by a partner and report a related impact on their functioning.

• Intimate partner violence resulted in 2,340 deaths in 2007 — accounting for 14 percent of all homicides. Of these deaths, 70 percent were women and 30 percent were men.

• The medical care, mental health services, and lost productivity cost of intimate partner violence was an estimated $5.8 billion in 1995. Updated to 2003 dollars, that’s more than $8.3 billion.

• 44 percent of domestic violence victims are under age 18.

• 80 percent are under age 30.

• 60 percent of sexual assaults are not reported to the police.

• 97 percent of rapists will never spend a day in jail.

• Approximately two-thirds of rape assaults are committed by someone known to the victim.

These numbers underestimate the problem. Many victims do not report domestic violence to police, friends or family. Victims may think others will not believe them or that the police cannot help.

Intimate partner violence not only affects adults but has become more prevalent in the teen and young-adult age group. Girls and women between the ages 16-24 are more vulnerable to intimate partner violence, experiencing abuse at a rate almost triple the national average.

One in three adolescent girls in the U.S. is a victim of physical, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner, a figure that far exceeds victimization rates for other types of violence affecting youth.  

High school students who experience physical violence in a dating relationship are more likely to use drugs and alcohol, are at greater risk of suicide and are much more likely to carry patterns of abuse into future relationships.  

Young people victimized by a dating partner are more likely to engage in risky sexual behavior and unhealthy dieting behaviors and the experience may disrupt normal development of self-esteem and body image.  

Only 33 percent of teens who are in an abusive relationship ever tell anyone about the abuse, and 81 percent of parents surveyed either believe teen dating violence is not an issue or admit they do not know if it is one.

By providing young people with education about healthy relationships and relationship skills and by changing attitudes that support violence, we recognize that dating violence can be prevented.  

It is essential to raise community awareness and to provide training for teachers, counselors and school staff so that they may recognize when youth are exhibiting signs of dating violence.

There is a lot to learn about how to prevent domestic violence. We do know that strategies that promote healthy behaviors in relationships are important. Programs that teach young people skills for dating can prevent violence. These programs can stop violence in dating relationships before it occurs.

-Nicky Willey is an LPN and clinical coordinator at Northwest Community Health Center.