Domestic violence calls in county double

On Sept. 29, Tracee Peterson was bludgeoned with a baseball bat until it was thought she was dead. Miraculously, she is alive.

Her husband, Joshua Peterson, is charged with attempting to kill his wife.  

Since this horrific domestic violence incident was reported in the newspapers, calls to the Lincoln County Crisis Solutions 24-hour crisis line have doubled.  

Women who have long endured domestic violence are suddenly awakened to the fact that it could have been them. They are calling to get help in making a safety plan to escape if and when necessary.  

They, along with their children, are coming into our three domestic violence shelters in Lincoln County in record numbers.  

North Lincoln County Shelter Manager Cookie Haidle said, “We urge women to be more cautious than ever with the continued media coverage being a double-edged sword. While true, victims are reaching out for help and many getting it. At the same time, their batterers are well aware that this could mean a loss of control over their victims, and they can ramp up their threats that if their wife or girlfriend try to report them or escape, the same or worse will happen to them.”    

Domestic violence is a  pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure or wound someone.

Abusers come from all economic, educational, ethnic and religious backgrounds. Many domestic violence abusers are not one-time assailants acting out-of-character in a stressful circumstance. Abusers are not acting in self-defense. Some abusers use a pattern of coercive techniques to control their victims.

These abusers believe they are entitled to control their victims. Abusers often show a pleasant and charming personality to their acquaintances and the public and a controlling, threatening personality to their victim. Many abusers learned their controlling behavior as children by observing the abusive conduct of their parents or other adults.

The advocates at Lincoln County Crisis Solutions urge you to reach out to male or female friends and loved ones who have suffered from domestic violence, and tell them they are not alone.

Here are six things to say to a victim of domestic violence:

• I am afraid for your safety.

• I am afraid for the safety of your children.

• I am afraid it will only get worse.

• You are not alone: I am here to help you. I can help you find someone who can help.

• You don’t deserve to be abused.

• It is not your fault.  

No one deserves to be abused. We encourage victims, their loved ones and concerned citizens to learn more by calling Lincoln County Crisis Solutions 293-3223, in Eureka 291-2715, toll free 1-877-493-7139.  

Highly trained, empathetic volunteer domestic violence advocates are on call 24 hours a day to help.

 (Barbara Guthneck is executive director of Lincoln County Crisis Solutions.)