Counseling Corner: Do your kids really know you feel about them?

Print Article

As parents we normally have many feelings and emotional reactions related to our children. Of course we love them, and are happy for them, and sometimes are driven crazy by them, but one of the things research has shown is that we often do a poor job of communicating these feelings to our children, especially how proud they make us.

From a parentís perspective this might seem an unfair criticism. Itís easy to believe that, of course, you are proud of your children and so, of course, they know how you feel. But the reality is that more often what a child will absorb are those times when you say something critical. When your child knows he or she has done something wrong, or has fallen short of your expectations, this tends to make the strongest impression. And this is especially true if you arenít effectively communicating the pride you feel for your son or daughter.

One key to making such communication work is to avoid offering praise for things that really arenít challenging and really arenít much of an accomplishment. Such praise ends up devaluing all of your praise, turning it into background noise that means little and that your kids will ignore.

To communicate your feelings of pride more effectively, focus on the process rather than simply the outcome. A parent offering praise to a child who is working hard and putting in extra effort is usually heard and appreciated. This type of praise highlights their trying and initiative, rather than just focusing only on the results. When children are praised for putting in extra effort, it becomes a reward that reinforces the work theyíre doing and makes it likely they will continue to try hard in the future.

You want to find a balance between offering too little or too much praise. As a parent you need to recognize when a child is pushing himself or herself to attempt something new or to persevere when something gets a little harder. This is when a compliment will be heard and will let your child know youíre truly proud of their efforts.

Children donít automatically know how proud their parents are of them. For children to know about that pride, and to benefit from it, that pride needs to be communicated effectively.

Print Article

Read More Lifestyle

Counseling Corner: Mid-life dating can actually be fun

November 16, 2018 at 5:00 am | Western News As we reach the holiday season, itís not uncommon for someone not in a relationship to feel a need to be with a significant other, or at least to have someone to take with him or her to that office p...

Comments

Read More

Store meds properly to avoid Halloween Ďcandy confusioní

October 30, 2018 at 5:00 am | Western News (StatePoint) This Halloween, families are projected to spend $2.6 billion on candy this year, according to the National Retail Federation. Unfortunately, Halloween can quickly go from spooky to scary...

Comments

Read More

Counseling Corner: Itís time to understand depression

October 30, 2018 at 5:00 am | Western News People commonly say, ďI donít know, Iím just a little depressed today.Ē We all have days when things seem off and weíre feeling a little blue. But, in most cases, the sun shines the following day, wh...

Comments

Read More

Counseling Corner: How to tell when a marriage is in trouble

October 26, 2018 at 5:00 am | Western News Divorce is a fairly common reality in the U.S. While the most-often cited statistic is that 50 percent of marriages will end in divorce, current estimates are that the number is actually in the range...

Comments

Read More

Contact Us

(406) 293-4124
311 California Ave.
Libby, MT 59923

©2018 The Western News Terms of Use Privacy Policy
X
X